A Woman's Heart: The Gift of Love

In I Corinthians Chapter 13 – Paul tells us about the gift of love. The church of Corinth had problems with people who insisted on expressing their gift of speaking in tongues. They were unruly and unloving to those around them. So Paul tells them that the Holy Spirit gives us nine distinctive gifts (Words of Wisdom, Words of Knowledge, Special kind of Faith, Power to heal, Power to Perform Miracles, Ability to Prophesy, Discernment of spirits, gifts of tongues and the interpretation of tongues), but the greatest gift is gift number ten – the gift of Love. This tenth gift was so important that Paul wrote about it in Chapter 13. Without the gift of Love all the other gifts are powerless. I just have time today to talk about two colors in the portrait of love. Let me say a few things about patience and kindness. These two attributes are lacking the most in the love that I see most people claim they have for each other. When we say love is patient we often think of someone who was angry, but didn’t let that person have it. They counted to ten before they exploded or they stopped themselves before they got too angry to hit someone. People who constantly blow their tempers often say it is because they love that person so much as the reason for their anger. Don't buy that line. Love is patience and it is not motivated by anger. Some people think patience is something you learn or is s supernatural willpower. Patience comes through love. Patience comes through understanding. When you truly love someone you understand their heart. For example, when my daughter, Nikki, was a child she would help me take care of her brothers. I would tell her that if the boys are crying it is because something is wrong. Please let Mommy know. I would often find her patting them on the back and trying to hug them when they were screaming at the top of their lungs. She never got frustrated because she understood why they were crying. She just simply tried to console them. She never shouted Mom come I can’t take this. She and Andrew my older son would just try to help out. She watched them so closely for me that if they would fall while playing and then started to cry, she would know why they cried, because she was there and she understood what had just happened. So she just tried to console and comfort them, not yell at them, until I got there. She understood the cause of the screams. I tell mothers all the time that babies don’t scream just to scream or because they are spoiled. Usually something emotional or physical is wrong. So be patient and love them until you can figure out what the problem is. You don’t lose your patience, when you understand. Love is just that way. An impatient person lacks love. So if you are always irritable and impatient – check your love connection. There might be something lost in your heart. So today, the kids are in their 20's and 30's, and Nikki still connects well with her brothers. It does matter how they love each other. One of my many blessings that my mother passed on to us was to look out for each other. It doesn’t matter what one has done to the other; we are brothers and sisters and we will understand, love, and be connected to each other for the rest of our lives. And, when you loved someone, you will always see the “screaming baby” in everything they do. There could be something wrong that you cannot see, be patient. They probably are "crying" for a good reason. Still today I hear people say that my daughter, Nikki, is patient and kind! Kindness is an attribute that has long being forgotten. People often confuse kindness with niceness or manipulation. When a man gives a woman a compliment that is followed by a come on, it is not kindness at all, but manipulation. Some people are just mean, out of habit. There are some men who think that women like it when they are treated mean. What planet were they born on? No one likes it when they are treated mean. Women listen! If a guy is mean and nasty to you and treats you like a doorknob in a junk yard, he does not love you! Run Girl, Run like Forest Gump. Because, that man is selfish and egotist and that is not love. For my sons out there, I say the same. If a woman spends most of her time tearing your self-esteem down and telling you what you did not do right, and she is mean and nasty to all of her friends as well. Guess what, that is not love. It might be self-love, but it is not love for you. Darrin Hufford, who wrote the God’s Honest Truth, states that, “It is important to understand that “acts of kindness” do not necessarily come from a kind heart. Anyone can “act out” kindness. A kind person is an expert marksman! They hit the center of the heart every time. He goes on further to say that, “ kindness is an attribute of love, and love never fails. Anyone can do a nice thing. It doesn’t require love, but a kind thing always hits the heart because it is directed by love. Even Hitler did nice things every now and then. We must never confuse niceness with kindness. The two are miles apart. Niceness is appreciated; kindness brings you to your knees and exposes intimate parts of you that you’ve kept hidden all your life. This is why we would rather have people be nice to us than kind. Niceness keeps its distance, but kindness invades our personal space. Niceness makes us smile, but kindness can make us cry. Niceness pats us on the back, but kindness reaches into our heart and massages it. Niceness asks, “How are you doing? But kindness really wants to know the answer and usually already does.” God love is forever, so His kindness is forever. He loved you before the foundation of the world. Ephesians 1:6-8 says, “so we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son. He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. He has showered his kindness on us along with all wisdom and understanding. God has no ulterior motive - He is kind to us because He loves us. There is no hidden agenda behind God’s plan for your life. Be nice, but it is better to be kind this week to everyone you meet. For His Glory; Pastor Tricia