Winning the Battle of Life: A Single Woman and Sexuality

Scripture: Proverbs 5:16 NLT
“Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone?”


Even though this advice in scripture is a father’s instruction to his son, I think we as women can take this as our Heavenly Father’s instruction to us.

The father is advising his son against having sex with just anyone! He tells him to run from an immoral woman. His final advice is for his son’s heart to be captivated by his wife only. You as a woman (single or married) must also run far away from immoral men, because if you do not, you will lose your honor and hand over to merciless people everything you have achieved in life. I don’t know one Christian woman after finally meeting the one who truly loves her and then marries who did not regret that she had sex with other men before him. Because she finally realized that her wedding night bed cuts the covenant with her husband in blood, just as Christ’s blood cuts a covenant for us with God.

I have compared single women who are in their 30’s and virgins with other single women around the same age, who have been with a man but is still waiting to be married (sometimes she is waiting for the guy she is living with to say, “I do.”) There is a starling difference in their strength, confidence and dignity. The latter women often showed signs of low self-esteem, lack of confidence and sometimes even bitterness from being “used”. The virgin single Christian woman will never say she has been used. She has discretion; she is happy; does not beg for the man to marry her, and she is prayerful. One other characteristic, she seems to be captivated by God’s love for her.

The truth is society tells us to have sex in the city, countryside and everywhere to prove that we are desirable and sexy. Yet it leaves us wanting for a real true love and relationship that in actuality only one man out of a million can provide.

If I were to give any advice it would be this:

The miracle of sexual purity has always begun with what is in the heart of the woman. A woman must know that she is worthy of love from that one man. She must decide not to spill water of passions openly and with anyone who will have her. She must wait to cut the covenant with the one who God has ordained for her. I don’t know one man who truly loves you who would not want that with you.

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